son: Mommy, Mommy, why is my head soaking wet and everything is spinning round and round?
mom: Shut up or I'll flush again!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Am I done with my bath yet?
mom: Shut up or I'll flush you down!

son: Mommy mommy ! When is the pool going to be ready ?
mom: Shut up and spit ...

son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like fishing.
mom: Shut up and stop squirming.

son: Mommy, Mommy I don't want my hair braided.
mom: Shut up and lift the other arm.

son: Mommy, mommy, can I have a cookie?
mom: Yes, the cookies are on the top shelf.
son: But mommy, I haven't got any arms!
mom: No arms, no cookie...

daughter: Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear.
mom: Billy, let go of Susie's ear.
mom: Billy! Let go of her ear!
mom: All right Billy, give me the ear.

mom: Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.
son: No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I brush my teeth?
mom: Yes, now shut up and get the jar!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
mom: Shut up and step on the gas!

son: Mommy Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here.
mom: Shut up or I'll flush it again.

son: Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa?
mom: Shut up and get back in the box!

son: Mommy, Mommy I don't want to go to China!
mom: Shut up and put your other foot in the CARE package!

son: Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!
mom: Shut up and comb your face!

son: Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf?
mom: Shut up and comb your face!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
son: Can Granny take me?
mom: Why?
son: Her hand shakes.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
mom: Shut up son, you'll wake your father.

son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress?
mom: You know it won't fit over your iron lung.

son: Mommy!Mommy!Who will I stay with while you are gone?
mom: Grandma Dear now get in the coffin.

son: Mommy, Mommy, I'd like to play marbles now!
mom: Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glasseye today!

son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
mom: Shut up Albert....

son: Mommy, mommy, why is your hair so green?
mom: [Sneezes into hand] Sure don't know, son. [wipes hand on hair]

son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?
mom: You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.

son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't?
mom: Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas in July?
mom: Shut up, you know you have cancer.

son: Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!

son: Mommy, Mommy! What do you want with that ax....

son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
mom: Good, it's working.

son: Mommy, Mommy! What am I gonna be when I grow up?
mom: Nothing, dear. I have AIDS!

son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.

son: Mommy, mommy! I don't see what's so hot about watching tv!
mom: Shut up and turn the damn thing on!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy just poisoned my kitten!
mom: Never mind dear. Perhaps he had to do it.
son: No he didn't, he promised me I could!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us?
mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs!
son: Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey?
mom: Shut up, you little snot.

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